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| original version |
THE ONE WHO NEEDS
A PSYCHIATRIST
by Admiel Kosman
Translated by lisa katz
It’s okay to express an opinion. Can’t You
take any criticism? I’ve been there,
and I’m telling You it’s not what You think.
So sit down and be quiet.
Can’t You take any criticism
at all? The way You behave is really ridiculous.
You should think before You speak.
You’re sure You know everything.
But inside, I’m sorry to say,
You’re a miserable creature,
in my opinion, You don’t even know
for sure, inside,
that You exist, and so
You can’t take
any tough criticism at all.
You should know, it’s okay, yes, really okay
to express an opinion, even if it’s against You, I’m sorry to say.
By the way, You really should know,
between the two of us
the one who needs a psychiatrist
is You,
not me. It’s true
that I offend You
here and there. So what,
I’m telling You the honest,
bitter truth. So what
if it’s hard for You to swallow.
The distance from this
to Your violent response
is as far as heaven from earth.
It’s interesting that for You, in
Your fantasies, no one
ever opens his mouth. And in
there, inside, it’s like a total hush.
So excuse me, I won’t talk to You now.
Because when You look at me like that
what do You really want to say, look,
You’re terrifying me.
You should know
I’m not going to talk about that either.
Even though I know very well
You don’t even really mean it.
To me You’ve been a negative
character for a long time, and not at all
human, because You don’t, to my way of thinking,
exist in the real world.
You should know that creatures
like You, may find, perhaps,
as far as I’m concerned, on an emotional level
or maybe in Your
dreams, for all I care
You may find
in fantasies
some gnomes or trolls,
believe me,
as far as I’m concerned,
they’re giants,
I’m not quarreling with You at all,
if You haven’t noticed, because, to me, it’s
an insult to intelligence, absolutely.
By the way, I have to add, really
for Your own good, that the one,
between the two of us, who needs, urgently,
to see a psychiatrist,
is You.
take any criticism? I’ve been there,
and I’m telling You it’s not what You think.
So sit down and be quiet.
Can’t You take any criticism
at all? The way You behave is really ridiculous.
You should think before You speak.
You’re sure You know everything.
But inside, I’m sorry to say,
You’re a miserable creature,
in my opinion, You don’t even know
for sure, inside,
that You exist, and so
You can’t take
any tough criticism at all.
You should know, it’s okay, yes, really okay
to express an opinion, even if it’s against You, I’m sorry to say.
By the way, You really should know,
between the two of us
the one who needs a psychiatrist
is You,
not me. It’s true
that I offend You
here and there. So what,
I’m telling You the honest,
bitter truth. So what
if it’s hard for You to swallow.
The distance from this
to Your violent response
is as far as heaven from earth.
It’s interesting that for You, in
Your fantasies, no one
ever opens his mouth. And in
there, inside, it’s like a total hush.
So excuse me, I won’t talk to You now.
Because when You look at me like that
what do You really want to say, look,
You’re terrifying me.
You should know
I’m not going to talk about that either.
Even though I know very well
You don’t even really mean it.
To me You’ve been a negative
character for a long time, and not at all
human, because You don’t, to my way of thinking,
exist in the real world.
You should know that creatures
like You, may find, perhaps,
as far as I’m concerned, on an emotional level
or maybe in Your
dreams, for all I care
You may find
in fantasies
some gnomes or trolls,
believe me,
as far as I’m concerned,
they’re giants,
I’m not quarreling with You at all,
if You haven’t noticed, because, to me, it’s
an insult to intelligence, absolutely.
By the way, I have to add, really
for Your own good, that the one,
between the two of us, who needs, urgently,
to see a psychiatrist,
is You.
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